You’re
wondering what I’m talking about right?
You’re
wondering who’s still around?
It’s
them oh! Those who steal people’s breasts and genitals from them, I’m not
talking about ritual killers oh! I’m talking about those that walk past people,
hit them and walk away with their ‘important goods’ but this time they’ve
upgraded.
I
was at e-centre recently, I had just gotten there and I was waiting for the
elevator when I heard some guy shouting ( it sounded more like screaming though).
“
Guy!!
Long time! Aw u deyna! Omo e don teywey I u oh!”
The
‘guy’ in question didn’t look like he
was happy to see him because he had this ‘somebody save me who’s this dude’
look on his face, still looking confused he tried to calm the screaming man
down, “chairman, abeg no vex, I no sabi u, wea u for sabi me?”
“nawa
for u oh! U no deyrememba person, U no rememba me for NYSC camp? Na me nah,
Femi! Baba u don fresh now oh! See as u big!” this dude wanted to famz by all
means.
The
guy still didn’t seem to recognize him but he gave up and gave him d ‘chairman
handshake’, the kind that you shake
hands and then pat each other on the back, then he said,” ok man, later now”
and he ran up the stairs.
The
elevator had refused to come down (or maybe I didn’t notice when it did
*shrug*) so I decided to take the stairs, on getting to the front of
the male restroom I heard another scream, “Jesus! My d***!!! I can’t find my
freaking d***! That dude! Oh my God! My d***, that Femi guy took it!”
I
couldn’t believe my ears! I would have run into the toilet but I didn’t want to
see what my mouth wouldn’t be able to say. The guy’s friends ran out to look
for Femi but he was gone, leaving the unfortunate guy without access to his
future generations. I couldn’t wait to see the rest of the incident because
things like that are what we call ‘season film’ we no dey stand watch am!
To
all my ’brothers in the lord’
reading this, please watch the hands u shake especially the famzers, they’re
dangerous! Please keep ‘the key to your future’ safe, it’s the only one you’ve got…
written by Rita